He Dated Me While Being Married
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
I started to date a guy for a month when I went to his house and found a woman sitting in a chair. After which she told me that she is his wife.
He says he is leaving her but he was afraid to tell me then and he was planning to tell me eventually.
Should I stay with him until the divorce has gone through?
The most important thing in any relationship is honesty and trust. You have to be able to trust your guy to be truthful with you, to rely on him. If he starts out by lying to you, how can you trust him to suddenly become honorable later on? He's already shown you that he merrily lies to you when it suits his needs. He wanted to date you and instead of being honest and telling you about the situation ... or (gasp) actually waiting until he WAS legally divorced before in essence committing adultery, he decided lying was the best course of action.
I would tell him you will be friends only until he divorces. I can't tell you how many people fall for the "I'll be divorced soon ... really ..." line only to wait years and years and never actually see their guy get divorced. If he IS planning on getting divorced, then he shouldn't mind waiting until he IS before he starts dating you seriously. Is he going to say you're not worth waiting for and treating properly? Or is he going to say that he didn't actually plan on divorcing soon ...
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com