She Kissed Another Guy

Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Male
My girlfriend kissed another guy a week ago. What should i do? I am angry and disapionted at her but i still love her what do u think i should do? things just havent been the same. Advice
I can certainly understand why you're upset! She made a promise to you to be faithful to you - and when she was tested, she failed the test and chose to cheat. Cheating doesn't just "happen". People have to actually do the cheating action. This guy didn't grab her head and force her to kiss him. She chose that action with her own brain even though she knew it would hurt you. Now you can't trust her in the future - when she gets tempted again, how can you trust that she'll do any different?

It can take married couples months of talking to get over cheating, and some never do. Yes, you love her - but she's not acting as if she loves you. You can't force someone to love you. And if a relationship only has love on one side, it just won't work.

If she really says that she's sorry and has learned a lesson, then I have a lot of advice on the site about healing from a cheating issue. But she has to work hard to help you regain your trust in her. Trust is THE most important thing in any relationship. If you can't trust her, then every time she's out of your site you're going to be jealous of anyone and everyone she's with. That will water torture you into breaking up and maybe even hating her eventually. You don't want that!

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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