Interested in a Married Guy

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
I work with this guy, and we made love, and I'm starting to fall for him. Problem is, he's still married. What should I do? Advice
I think you've got things a little out of order here. First he's supposed to leave the woman he's legally committed to. Then you're supposed to start to feel strongly about him, and *then* you're supposed to have sex with him ;)

The guy is married. He has a wife, maybe even kids. If he is now fooling around with you, this doesn't say much about his level of commitment. The chance of him leaving his wife is pretty slim, going percentage-wise. He has what he wants from her - a stable home - and he has what he wants from you - a fun diversion. Yes, some men do actually leave their wives, but those aren't odds I'd want to play. If he really did love you, he would have left his wife first before becoming serious with you.

Also, even on the off chance that he did finally leave her, that isn't a relationship I personally would ever want to enter. The guy has already proven that he can't be trusted, that if something else seems more interesting, he'll be off after it. Believe me, there is *always* something else more interested in the world. Most men ignore those temptations and stay with the person they are committed to. But if you take up with a man who has proven his inability to stay committed, you are setting yourself up for heartbreak down the road when he does the exact same thing to you that he is currently doing to his wife. i.e. betraying her.

I would find someone trustworthy to date and to fall in love with. You are asking for trouble by getting into even deeper relationships with a man that you work with and that is committed to another woman.

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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