She's Trying to Regroup - but Is She Cheating?

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
I have had a girlfriend for 3 years. The past few months have been really hard for her. Her family checked her dad in to alcohol rehab, she dropped out of school because she has severe depression. We split up for about a week in November and worked things out. We even went to see a counselor and that helped our relationship dramatically. The end of January we got into a fight because she was not attending school still and she got fired from her job. She said she wanted to take time apart so she could figure out what she wanted to do. Two weeks past and we didn't talk and she called me up and wanted to be with me. Everything was going fine until her mother came up and took her to the counselor because she need to straigten up.

During those two weeks that we didn't talk, she was with this one guy all the time. She even stayed at his house and he stayed at her's one night. She said that if she stays over there she sleeps on his couch, and she will sleep with her roommate if he stays over there. She told me about it and swore that they are just friends. She said that she has even told him that she just wants to be friends because she still loves me.

I have not talked to her for about a week because her counselor advised her not to so she can get her life in order. I am sure that she is still hanging out with this guy because people tell me they see them together.

Is she doing stuff with this guy, waiting to find out if she likes this guy or what? Please help me because I want nothing more than to be with her. Will we get back together? Advice
If she's not supposed to talk to you then certainly she shouldn't be hanging around with other guys either. That's not a way for her to get her life in order, to be checking out new guys. I think it's very fair to say, if she's supposedly focussing on her own needs, to stop flirting around with guys for that period. To say it's OK for her to sleep with this other guy (even if not in the same bed) but not see you is very odd.

-- from Lisa
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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