Meeting in a Chat Room

Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Male
What if ur in love with someone that u have not seen before (through chatrooms)and u feel like u want to know her better and try to start a relationship with her. When she chat together it makes me feel comfortable...but the problem is when i tell her that i'm falling for her, she actually got scared.

As for her, she has never been through a relationship before with other guys, so this could be her 1st time. How could i convince her that i can give my best to her and also how to convince her that this kind of relation can last long. Teach me how to talk to her in a manner that she won't be to panic? Advice
Chat rooms can easily build up a sense of familiarity - but really what you know about the person is only what they tell you. It's a first layer of contact, but it's only the first. So instead of scaring her off by making her feel like she's being stalked by a predator, focus on building the friendship. She understands friendships, and isn't afraid of those. And really, all true loves are based on best friends getting together. So you want to build up that best friendship.

Yes, chatting is fun, but start to broaden your contact. Send email messages. Send real physical letters. Talk on the phone occasionally. The more different ways you contact each other, the more facets of each other you will reveal. The more you become a 'real friend' in her life and not a 'strange chatter', the more comfortable she will be with the whole thing. You have to take things slow and prove you are worthy of trust.

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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