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A Love Quote
We don't love qualities, we love persons; sometimes by reason of their defects as well as of their qualities. --Jacques Maritain

He Left Me by Dating Another Woman Simultaneously

Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old Female
I have been dating a man (divorced with 2 kids) for about a month. The dates were generally friendship oriented in nature (not romantic type dates-meeting places, etc. however he was always paying and would flirt) and also time spent with his 2 kids.

From the start of our relationship I let hime know that I thought it was better to get to know someone as a friend first b/c often times the romance too early ruins things. It also goes against my values. He agreed. He has done nothing but lay on the compliments very thick, ie, never meets women like me, he talked often about all the future things we were to do together, what he was going to buy me next Valentines', etc.

He called me last week to tell me he's also been dating someone else and that the day after Valentine's he spent time with her and had that "romantic connection," and was dumping me. He said I have a some great qualities that she doesn't have but that he didn't know what the rules were in dating me and that he's a touchy feely guy.

I was sooo shocked to hear this and was upset that I had been bonding with his kids. Do I have a right to feel misled and my feelings hurt? He asked if he could remain my friend and call me again and I told him no. Should I have?

RomanceClass.com Advice
I have to be honest there and say that dating generally is about testing the waters, and it's quite fine to date lots of people at a time. Unless you both talk about being monogamous and serious, it's quite open that you both are dating other people. You are the slow-taker which is fine. He is the cuddly-and-touchy which is fine. It sounds like you are two different type of people though. He ended up with a touchy person, who matches his personality. You can look for someone who is slow, steady and more long term, which will match your personality.

-- from Lisa
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com

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