I Lied - Now It's Come Back to Haunt Me
Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Male
I HAVE A HUGEEEEEEEE PROBLEM. IN HIGHSCHOOL I MADE UP THIS LIE ABOUT MY BEST FRIENDS TWIN SISTER AND I SAYING WE DID THINGS SEXUALLY LIKE KISSING AND ALL THAT. NOW THE REASON I DID IT WAS A VALID ONE BUT THE FACT IS I DID TELL THAT LIE. THE WORST PART IS I CONTINUED IT AFTER HIGHSCHOOL WHEN I GOT TO COLLEGE. NOW THERE IS ONLY LIKE 2 PEOPLE I TOLD THIS LIE TO BUT I FELT THAT I COULDN'T STOP THIS LIE. WELL, MY BEST FRIEND FOUND OUT AND OF COURSE IS MAD AS HELL. SHE SAYS SHE DIDN'T CARE WHY I DID IT AND I SHOULD HAVEN'T AND SHE CAN'T TRUST ME AND F ME BLAH BLAH. WE HAVE BEEN BEST FRINEDS SINCE WE WERE 9 AND NOW WE ARE DAM NEAR 20. I LOVE HER ANDI KNOW THROUHG ALL THIS I HAVE BEEN A FRIEND TO HER. I WANTED TO GET SOME ADVICE ON HOW TO DEAL WITH THIS. I WROTE HER A 4 PAGE LETTER EXPLAING WHAT I DID AND HOW SORRY I WAS. NO ONE IS PERFECT BUT I DON'T WANT TO LOOSE HER. FOR THE PAST 3 DAYS I HAVE BEEN SICK COLD SWEATING. I HAVE A BASKETBALL GAME TOMMORW IN WHICH I BELIEVE SHE IS GONNA BE THERE. JUST MY LUCK. I LIED AND I WANTED TO KNOW IF THERE WAS ANYWAY THIS SUATION COULD GET BETTER...THANKYOU AND PLEASE REPLY AS SOON AS POSSIBLE!!!!
Well first there is NEVER ever a good reason to lie. Especially if the lie is about something like that. Betrayal of trust is the worst thing you can do to any relationship and now your best friend can't really feel like you can be trusted going forward. If you were willing to lie for years and years, for whatever reason, how can you be trusted not to lie about other things?
If you're going to regain the trust it is going to take a lot of serious effort, to prove you have learned from your mistake and would never do it again. The fact that even now you felt it was OK to lie for years and are only upset you got caught doesn't really count in your favor, though ...
-- from Lisa
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com