Agreeing to a Break
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
Ok, last weekend, my boyfriend broke up with me over the phone. We had an argument the night before and it was pretty bad since I was overreacting to something and he was suffering from jetlag. During the conversation that morning,he was pretty cruel said a couple of things that really hurt me such as he was miserable the whole time we were together. I was really hurt and I spent the week going through shock, grief and anger. Well, I finally saw him last night when he came to drop off my stuff. We spent the next two and a half hours discussing our relationship. He did apologize for the things he said but appearently, he felt stiffled in our relationship and missed doing the things he enjoyed like golfing and mountain biking. So, he said he wanted a two month break from seeing me on the weekends so he can have some alone time and do the things he enjoy. We can still get together for dinner and talk on the weekdays because he said he still wants me and this relationship. I know he has been under alot of stress from work since he is a workaholic and the weekends are his only free time. Although we did spend alot of time together during the weekends, I have never demanded that we have to spend Friday through Sunday together and I have always told him that if he wanted to spend time golfing/biking, he just need to let me go. But he never did because he thought it would be mean to tell your girlfriend that you didn't want to spend time with her. Well, I told him that I would respect his wishes to have some alone time and try it out for one month and then we will see.... However, right now there's a part of me that telling me I am being stupid. He tells me he wants me and he wants this relationship but he needs two months of weekend alone time. Am I being stupid for agreeing to this?
The big question here is why take a break? A relationship never demands weekend time. A ton of people have relationships without even seeing each other for months! Surely you're not going to tell me that a married military couple is not in a "real relationship" when one of them is off in Iraq?
Why can't he be in a relationship with you and have it involve personal time as well as together time? I would not agree to a break - because a break means a break in the closeness of the relationship. The whole point of a relationship is that you work on it when it's hard, not just when it's easy.
-- from Lisa
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com