Getting Close to a Guy Friend - He's Not Interested
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
I have a guy friend that I'm starting to get to know better. I've told him that I like him and that I would like to be more then just friends. He hasn't not stopped talking to me, but we don't really talk about what me telling him that I like him. I told him not to let me telling him that I like him to affect our friendship. He started being kinda distant after I told him. I mean, like, when I sit next to him somewhere, before I told him that I liked him, he would sit kinda close to me, and now he kinda keeps a big space between us. We've know each other for a long time and I've liked him for a long time. I'm starting to fall in love with him. We've been hanging out a lot more and I'm getting to know him a lot better than I did. We have a lot in common and before I told him that I liked him, he would normally be all for talking to me and seeing what else we have in common, but now he is just kinda distant. I don't know what to do. Should I confront him about how I feel about him avoiding me telling him that I like him or give him space? If I give him space, will our friendship fall apart or get better?
It rarely works well to just come out and tell someone that you like them, because if they don't feel exactly the same way, things get uncomfortable. That seems to have happened here. If he liked you romantically, he wouldn't be pulling away from you now. Apparently he likes you as a friend but isn't interested in being more than that. If you push him more, he's just going to get more distant. He's already made it clear that he wants space from anything more close. There isn't anything to confront him with.
If you can handle just being friends with him, then keep spending time with him. If it would torment you too much, take a break and let yourself get over it.
-- from Lisa
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com