Getting Close to an Overseas Military Guy

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
I met someone at work over a year ago but have really only known him 4 months I started a friendly relationship with him knowing that he had a girlfriend. We seemed to hit it off pretty well. Then he was delpoyed overseas for a year. Several people told me the relationship between him and his girlfriend was not good when he left.

I have kept in contact with him over the year sending him letters and packages with out asking about the girlfriend he has also called me several times. I felt there was more than a friendship developing and so did the people i work with. Due to the nature of him being away i figured when he came home we might further our relationship but however when he came home on leave he proposed to the girlfriend and she replied with a no. Of course i was suprised to hear this I did not realize that their relationship was that serious. I am pretty sure that he is aware of my feelings for him however i don't know what his are. He has left again and will return in 4 months.

Where do i go from here? I don't want to loose our friendship by saying the wrong thing, but I wish i knew what his feeling were. He will also be returning to work when he is done with his tour of duty so i don't want to make it akward for him or me. Advice
It sounds like you are good friends with him but that he had other romantic interests. You can't expect a guy with a girlfriend to "further your relationship" though!! Either you accept that you're a good friend with him, or you might want to back off for a while and get a bearing on what is going on here. If you are spending all your time and energy on a guy who is actively proposing to other women, that would seem to be time and energy better spent on a single man.

-- from Lisa
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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