We Both Cheated - Our Trust is Shot
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
My boyfriend of 6 years (off and on) and fiance for a short while until his brother was killed by a drunk driver 2 years ago. Both have had issues with each other with trust. Yes we both have cheated but now he is accusing me of cheating with two of his friends that i have only seen a couple of times while in his company. No matter what i say or try to do he does not believe me. He used to used drugs and i thought it caused him to be paranoid. He drinks alot and i can't make him see i am being honest. I have not been with his friends.
He says we can move forward if i take a lie detector test. and if i pass we can move forward. I have no problem taking it i know i did not do what he says i did. I said he had to take one too. I really don't care what happened in the past as far as who he was with. It bothers me but i love him enough and want to be with him that i have the ability to forgive and i do forget it bothers me but i just don't think about it. Please tell me what i am to do???
Trust is incredibly important in any relationship and if both of you have violated that trust then it is natural for a lot of suspicion to be causing trouble now. This is why cheating is so incredibly bad. If the lie detector test will help him, then I suppose you can take it, although they are of course not always accurate. He might still have lingering doubts. The only true way to restore trust is to work on it for a long time. Trust has to be rebuilt over time. It's not an easy fix. You have to be patient and work on it every day.
-- from Lisa
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com