logo


Romantic Forums! Get the answers you seek quickly and easily! If you can't find what you need
here amongst our tens of thousands of tips and questions, be sure to Post in our Romantic Forum!
We've got over 9,800 members ready to give you a hand!
A Love Quote
You don't love someone for their looks, or their clothes, or for their fancy car, but because they sing a song only you can hear.



I Want to be Friends with my Ex



Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Male
It's been about a year since my ex and I broke up, and I am not looking to gain her back in a relationship sense, however, I do want to try and rebuild the friendship I thought we once had.

When we broke up, I was not sure that being friends was the best thing for me. I was worried that if we continued to hang out a lot, or see each other too often, I would begin to miss the relationship and would essentially be causing myself more pain than anything. Obviously she was the one who left, so at the time, it wasn't something that I was able to handle very well. I was very open and honest about how I felt, and when asked if I wanted to be friends, I said, "yes, but I don't think it's a very good idea for me so I can't." I had a tendency to think the residual feelings were completely gone when they really weren't, so I went back and forth a couple times about whether or not I could be friends with her.

She too was very inconsistent with her words to me of what she wanted, and now is basically saying that she doesn't want to ever talk again. She even tried very hard to make me feel jealous by telling me she was dating someone else, when she really wasn't.

Without going into great detail of the past year, I just wanted to get someone else's opinion if I am wrong in trying to email her and trying to rebuild that friendship. Am I just wasting my time in not letting things go and just forgetting about it? I feel it's the right thing to do since my conscious doesn't like the way I let things happen between us and not being ok with being friends right off the bat. I feel that I am causing more pain to myself by trying to be friends or at least aquiantences. I have plenty of friends, so it's not like I "need" her as a friend, I guess I just feel bad for not just putting my feelings aside in the beginning and trying to be friends so now I would like to rectify that.

Any advice?




RomanceClass.com Advice
It's very normal for both of you to have taken a big break after breaking up, to get a handle on your feelings and emotions. Most people are NOT friends again immediately, because the feelings of love and pain and hurt are all still too fresh.

If she's actively lying to you to hurt you, that's really not a good sign. As much as you might have dreams about having a long term friendship with her, friendship is something that two people who respect each other can maintain. If she's lying and trying to hurt you, that's not exactly the person to persue a friendship with.

Yes, it's common for people to want to be friends with each other after they break up. Most of the time it's a great idea! You guys had things in common before you began the romance, so those same things should still be there. It's a shame to "waste" all that time you spent together by never speaking again. But on the other hand, people do change sometimes. And if someone is actively going to be a harmful part of your life, it's time to accept that and go on.

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com





Add RomanceClass  to Twitter Add RomanceClass  to Facebook Add RomanceClass  to MySpace Add RomanceClass  to Del.icio.us Digg RomanceClass+ Add RomanceClass  to Yahoo My Web Add RomanceClass  to Google Bookmarks Add RomanceClass  to Stumbleupon Add RomanceClass  to Reddit
 


Speak Your Mind - Share your Thoughts on this Question!

All Advice in the category - I Want my Ex Back

Browse our Answer Database
- Browse Answers by Question Category
- Browse Answers by Age Group
- Browse Answers by Date of Response



Please read through the advice on this site before you Submit your Own Question! We have thousands of pages of valuable advice that can immediately help you with your situation.
Advertisement


Sparkly Irridescent Glitz Gel

Going to a party or special event? What to feel special no matter what you're doing? Roll on some glitz! Perfect for adding a special bit of sparkle to your day or evening.

Buy Glitz Gel at EclecticLady.com




Bookmark this site so you can reference it any time you need romantic / relationship info in the future!

Add Romance+Class+Website+ to Twitter Add Romance+Class+Website+ to Facebook Add Romance+Class+Website+ to MySpace Add Romance+Class+Website+ to Del.icio.us Digg Romance+Class+Website+ Add Romance+Class+Website+ to Yahoo My Web Add Romance+Class+Website+ to Google Bookmarks Add Romance+Class+Website+ to Stumbleupon Add Romance+Class+Website+ to Reddit


 

Follow Me on Pinterest


Romantic Tshirts, Bags, Mugs and More!

Love is Patient
Love is Patient ...
Deeply Loved
Deeply Loved ...
Random Kindness
Random Kindness ...

These are just a small selection - Visit the RomanceClass Shop!

Join This Newsletter!


 
RomanceClass on Facebook




Join This Newsletter!

Past Issues





| About RomanceClass | Advertising | Privacy Policy | Submit a Suggestion |
All content copyright 2013 Minerva WebWorks LLC. All rights reserved.

this site is for amusement only - professional advice is not being rendered

Italian Wedding