Finding Ways to Get With my Guy

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
I met this guy online... He only lives a little bit away from me. Of course since I met him online I was extremely cautious about real-life interaction, so we got to know each other through email and various online messangers. He seemed extremely interested in me and getting to know me more.

After about two weeks of that, he told me his band was playing at a venue that I frequently attend anyway, so I decided to go with one of my friends. He was really busy at the concert, considering it was his first public live performance (he had only played for friends and family before that) so I didn't really take offense when he didn't talk to me too much. At that point, I was really beginning to start liking him. He had just moved, so he didnt have a phone hooked up yet, and he gave me his work number to reach him at.

I've called only twice, because I'm really shy and I feel like I'd be bugging him at work, although I wish I had the guts to call. Since he's moved, he can't get online anymore, and he can't call me, but I'm too shy to call him, and I'm really afraid that he might be losing interest in me.

Whenever we get the chance we talk a good bit, and I even (after a lot of begging) convinced my friend to take me up to his work to come visit him, and I just feel like everytime I get a chance to talk to him I like him more and more.

How can I tell if he's still interested? I have problems showing my emotions, because I'm entirely too shy, and I don't want him to think I don't have any interest whatsoever in him. I want to get to know him, but all these roadblocks keep popping up, like how he doesn't (can't?) call, and how I can't ever find a ride to go visit him. Advice
Aren't there pay phones around him? Doesn't he have a phone at work, since you can call him there? Isn't he able to drive, take a bus or taxi?

Compared to the roadblocks most couples that have troubles encounter, you guys have practically none! Your roadblock is that you're nervous about picking up the phone? His roadblock is that he seems incapable of picking up any phone near him to call you? This hardly sounds like a roadblock. It sounds like a lack of desire!

So pick up the phone. Tell him to pick up the phone. If you can afford going out to see bands, you can afford a bus ride or taxi ride. Relationships don't just happen like magic. Either you work to make them happen, or they fade away.

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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