We Argue A Lot
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
My wife and I are arguing alot lately, I would like to know how to stop and how to be able to resolve problems without arguing.
It's really good that you are looking to actively solve this problem. Arguing is something that can start out small, and then build up over time until it's turned into a large problem before you can stop it. But the important thing is to put on the brakes as quickly as you can and work your way back into happiness.
Arguing comes when you lose your respect for each other as best friends. Friends don't yell at each other, they talk about issues and find solutions. If things start to get heated, you need to take a break and wait until you're more calm before you talk about it again. If you are in general feeling grumpy, you need to figure out why. Is one of you having trouble at work? Is something else causing problems? Maybe the fighting is a way to let off steam from another problem. You really need to address that main problem so that it stops "erupting" in other ways.
I have a lot of tips here -
but if it really has gotten serious to the point that you can't talk with her about it at all, it might be time to go to a therapist. Even if it's just for a few weeks to get you guys started, it could be enough to show her that this is a serious problem and that you really need to work on solving it if you want to stay together.
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com