The First Time

Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Male
I was wondering if there is any way that a girl knows if she has "popped her cherry" (I don't know what it's really called). Is there any way she can do it herself before having sex? How much does she actually bleed? Is that the only part of sex that hurts? Advice
Virginity in a girl is about a guy entering her for the first time. Yes, some girls have a hymen, or thin layer of skin, blocking their vagina. But many girls have that break when they ride a bike or horseback ride or do other things. Some girls don't have such a thin hymen that it doesn't do anything when they have sex for the first time, it just sort of gets pushed aside. The only thing that really matters in virginity is an emotional change - that a girl has now found a guy that she trusts enough to consider having a baby with him. Remember, every sexual encounter carries a real risk of pregnancy and should be considered as such.

Sex can always hurt if it is done rushed, if the girl is nervous, if she is not lubricated enough. It is critical for BOTH people to be comfortable with each other, for them to have spent enough time building up the comfort level with each other and exploring the many other ways to be intimate. Sex really feels best when it is the culmination of many weeks, if not months of contact so that you know each other inside and out. You should trust each other completely and be comfortable truly revealing yourself.

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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