The First Time

Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Male
i have been with my girlfriend for 2yrs 3mos. and we have talked about having sex and we tried to one time but its her first time so it hurt her. that was like a month and a half ago.

How do i get her to start thinking about having sex again and actually having sex? it is also my 1st time she is 18 and im 20? Advice
It usually hurts for the girl on the first time because a girl's vagina is protected with a layer of skin, the hymen, which protects it from infection. You are breaking that. Also if a girl is nervous and not lubricated it can hurt from friction burns.

You can't think of this as "getting her to try again". You have to think of just building up the comfort of intimacy. There are plenty of ways to be intimate without the act, so that she isn't nervous and scared. She should already be quite comfortable with you naked, with the touching and everything else.

She will let you know when she's ready. It can NOT be something you pressure her into or you're going to have the same problem again. If she is nervous, tight and dry, it's always going to hurt.

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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