I Pick on Her - This Upsets Her
Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Male
My girlfriend has a hard time having fun. When her mom and I pick on her she fights back and get mad at us. She has had a tough time having fun. Is there anyway that we can show her that we're having fun with her instead of putting her down? This really is no fun for me.
Wait a minute - you gang up with her mom against her and you wonder why it upsets her??? Just about EVERY girl has serious fights with her mom during her teenage years, which is where I assume you guys are if you're even having this sort of a problem. Most guys learn VERY quickly not to side with the mom against their girlfriend!! Yes YOU think it's all in fun but to the girl, you are supposed to be her Knight in Shining Armor, the one who stands beside her against the world. Instead there you are actively tormenting her and taking the side of the Evil Witch in her life! And then you laugh about it when she is upset and tell her to "get a sense of humor"???
This is a really important lesson for you to learn. Your priority always needs to be your GIRLFRIEND. It sounds like you are having more fun flirting with the mom than caring about the girlfriend being upset! Why in the world would you partake in an activity that actively upsets the girl you are supposed to be supporting and protecting?
Yes, she needs a sense of humor. But having a sense of humor about being picked on is NOT something a boyfriend is supposed to be developing. A boyfriend should NOT be picking on his girlfriend, and ESPECIALLY not in cahoots with the girl's mom!!
It's time for you to turn over a new leaf. As much as it pains you, try NOT to pick on your girlfriend, especially with the mom. Instead, support your girlfriend, If you want a sense of humor, go watch comedy movies. But the family relationship is real life, and it is the situation your girlfriend has to live in *every day*. That real life should involve a guy who is there by her side, facing the world WITH her. It should not involve a guy that actively hurts her. If you keep this up, she won't be your girlfriend for much longer.
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com