Is the Relationship Worth Saving?

Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Male
I had a girlfriend for around 4 months. After a little friction and arguing, although I believed that she was responsible for that, I went to her and asked her to have the friendship again. She accepted but she said don't expect that everything comes all right like before.

I tried to cooperate with her and not discuss the issue again, but after around 3 weeks of trying I got tired of this. I feel that she doesn't like me or even if she does I don't feel that like before.

She is now on a trip and she will be back in few days. Despite all the things that I said I prepared something as a gift for Christmas to give her, but I feel that this is my last try. I think if someone doesn't like someone else, there will not be any love but just a gift between them and even if there is, it would be for a short time.

Please give me advise what should I do, should I break up or try more? I am really tired of this situation. Thanks. Advice
Your relationship just had a small bit of arguing and it caused huge trouble for you? Every single relationship has its ups and downs. That is normal. The fact that a small glitch caused huge problems for you two isn't a good sign. Why couldn't you easily make up afterwards? Why was it such a big deal for you to try to get things going? If this really upset her that much, you guys needed to sit down and work on the issues and find a solution. Instead you sort of drifted along just hoping things would somehow fix themselves. And they didn't, and she felt distant, and you were upset that things weren't perfect again.

She obviously still likes you - she agreed to get back together with you, although she was honest and told you that things wouldn't just snap back into their original shape. It sounds like you sort of expected they would. She could easily have said no, I won't date you any more. But in the meantime, the relationship is once again drifting along into nowhere land.

Yes, a relationship needs 2 people who like each other. But EVERY relationship requires effort. It doesn't just happen. It requires time and energy. It doesn't sound like either of you are really putting any into things. So give it a try! Show her that this relationship is important to you. Spend time with her. Have fun with her! Go to fun movies, go out exploring, go for walks. Enjoy life together. The best relationships are worth fighting for. If you don't even have any desire to TRY to make this relationship work, it really couldn't have been that important to you. Which makes me wonder, why did you go after her to try again, if you weren't willing to put any effort into it once you got her back?

-- from Jenn
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