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Love doesn't sit there like a stone, it has to be made, like bread; remade all of the time, made new. --Ursula K. LeGuin

He Left Me but he Keeps Coming Back

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
On and off for 5 years, then we moved together and everything was great, our relationship was highly critisized by friends and family. 6 months after moving in we broke up, I started moving on, dating to numb the pain of the heart break, he found out and cried said i broke his heart.

he now has a younger girlfriend but continues to come around to see me, he tells me he realized how much he loved me, but never the less he is still with this girl. last time he came I called the girlfriend and told him what he was doing and I told him I didnt want anything to do with him.

I had not heard from him for almost 3 weeks then he called to let me know he was going to drop something off at my house, we spoke for 2 hours as friends and told me how nice it was to see me again and how he could just sit and talk to me for hours. We didnt talk about what happend nor his girlfriend but I am scared he will continue to call or come around because he misses me. He know I am in Love with him.

What do I do?

RomanceClass.com Advice
First, good for you for calling his girlfriend and telling her the truth. He was being very slimy to both her AND you and she deserved to know the truth.

It really sounds like you tried your best with this guy but he was just NOT right for you and even now he is using you. You were broken up and when you tried to move on he caused trouble. But then HE happily went and starting dating someone else - and then tried to use both her and use at the same time!! And now that he doesn't have her any more (we can only hope) he is trying to get you to take him back ... at least until he finds someone new. And then he'll probably desert you again. And if you try to find a new guy, he'll come harass you again. And on and on it will go.

If you guys were together for 5 years it will take a while to get over him. Don't try to rush it, give yourself time. But tell him it's over and that you need time away from him. Tell him you need at least 3 months without him in your life at all to get yourself settled. And then take that time and really take good care of yourself. I have a ton of tips here -


do things you love, spend time with your friends. After the 3 months are up maybe you can be friends with him again but that is up to YOU. Do NOT let him pressure you into anything at all.

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com

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