Dealing with Jealousy

Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Female
I want to know how to control me jealousy. Everytime my fiance looks at another girl i feel my temperature rising and end up confronting him about it, and feel very stupid. I just feel that why do they need to look at other women all the time when he says he loves our relationship. I find myself not wanting to go out to places. Advice
Jealousy is really something you have to get under control. It's only going to get worse as you get married. Right now all you are worried about losing is a fiance. What happend when you're worried about losing a husband? How about when you're worried about losing the father of your children?

We are all human beings who have a complex web of friendships and flirtations. You can't tell your guy to wear a head-to-toe black robe and stay in his room so he never sees any other human being! You can't assume that every other woman he runs across is a potential threat! If you do, this relationship won't last long.

It's not a matter of "Why should he ever want to talk to any other human but me." It's a matter of "why do I have to have him locked away from every other person in order to feel safe". Why do you feel he WILL run off if he has even the slightest contact with any other female?

I have a whole how-to on jealousy -

take this VERY seriously and make it your #1 objective. If you don't get this under control it will destroy your relationship permanently. You need to build up the self esteem to know that he loves you and will stay with you - even if he had *best friends* that were girls. It is healthy and key for every guy to have female friends and acquaintances. It is up to you to trust in him and trust in your relationship. Either you trust him, or things won't work.

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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