I Get Really Jealous and my Boyfriend Gets Mad
Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Female
There is this girl who is an old friend of my boyfriend's and whenever we are all hanging out she tends to flirt openly with him.
Now, my boyfriend is a good guy and he would never do anything but I am still crazy jealous and I act all crazy whenever this happens. My boyfriend gets mad at me and says I don't trust him.
I can't stand it - what should I do?
A relationship is founded on honesty and trust, and acting insanely jealous is a sure way to drive someone away. Lots of people in life are flirtatious. You can't plot death and destruction every time one shows up in your life.
There are two things here. First, you DO need to learn to trust him. You need to accept that no matter what goes on around him, he is your guy and will come to you. If you start to act crazy any time someone flirts with him, he will tire of that pretty quickly.
But the other thing is that it's his responsibility to act respectfully towards you. So for example while she can flirt and giggle near him, he should NOT be pulling her onto his lap and giving her kisses, even in jest. So you need to talk with him about what is appropriate vs what is disrespectful. And once you see where that line is, YOU have to let him flirt, just as you are allowed to flirt with other guys.
I have tips on dealing with jealousy here -
Undoubtedly at some point soon this other girl is going to get a boyfriend of her own and stop using her extra affections on your guy, and everything will settle down.
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com