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We don't love qualities, we love persons; sometimes by reason of their defects as well as of their qualities. --Jacques Maritain



I Cheated with my Friend's Boyfriend



Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
I met this guy two years ago, and we became friends once since he started dating my friend for a while. I was attracted to him, but kept a solid lid on my feelings. They broke up. Then he made a move on me -which I rejected. Then I set him up with another friend of mine, and their relationship turned into more of a friendship than a love affair- at least for him. They spend a lot of time together, but he's holding out on any commitment to her. They are not even intimate with eachother.

Anyway, he spent the night at my place a couple of weeks ago (which is common among our group of friends) and he propositioned me, and I rejected him again. Mainly because I know how much my friend likes him. I was very tempted but decided it was a bad, bad idea. Anyway, he sent me an sms a couple of nights ago, and I invited him and his friends over. But he showed up alone. We had a bottle of wine, and yes, I caved in. There's no excuse but I have just been dumped by a bf and am feeling very lonely. It was really, really great. And I feel like a total heel. I've never cheated on a friend before(or anyone else for that matter).

We decided not to tell my friend about this mistake, and I decided not to pursue a friendship with him, or with my friend (what kind of a friend am I anyway..). But of course I can't get him out of my mind. I need advice on how to look myself in the mirror every morning, and what to do about my feelings for this guy. Any advice?




RomanceClass.com Advice
I really would tell the friend. It's going to come out eventually - it always does - and the sooner you tell her, the better. If you keep lying and lying, that makes it far worse. People can forgive a mistake. They can't forgive a history of lying eternally to cover up mistakes.

-- from Lisa
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com





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