Getting Through a Break-Up
Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Male
I recently submitted the question about the manipulative girlfriend. Since then I have broken up with her and everything is going pretty well. However, many people who check out this site, including myself, may come across a time after they break up with their significant other that they regret it. I know I have lonely feelings, miss my manipulative ex, basically in the pain stage of the break-up. Thankfully out of experience I know this will pass but it is hard during those times of loneliness not to get the urge to call her. My question is what is the best way to answer these urges? Thankfully I have written before and I have your reply bookmarked and use that for encouragement! :)
I hope this question will not only help me, but many more that follow!
Ah, you must have missed my pages of tips on dealing with breakups!
Breakups are ALWAYS painful and there are always moments of loneliness where you think "well maybe being with her wasn't so bad, if it's like this when I'm lonely". That's VERY natural and normal. But you have to look at this as a time to build yourself up. You are the best partner for someone if you are already a person that can stand on your own. If you are just a clingy person who can't stand being alone, and go with someone just because it's better than being along, something is very wrong. You should be HAPPY alone, and then feel that being with someone else is even better - that you bring that base level of happiness into the relationship.
So get to (I know this sounds like a cliche but it's true!) LOVE yourself. Appreciate what you are, good and bad. Develop a hobby. Treat yourself. Play your favorite music. Go to concerts you enjoy with friends. When you get to the point that you're having fun, and happy with life in general, think of how attractive you'll be to other people out there!
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com