I Want to Force Him to Date Me
Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Female
Me and my boyfriend had been going out for about two weeks and everything looked like it was going perfectly, he always said sweet things and called me and held me,he did everything any girl could want.
On the day he broke up with me everything was the same, i was totally shocked and confused when he did it at about 5:00 that night. He told me it was because we never see each other since hes in high school and im in middle school and hes going to be gone just about every weekend this year because of conventions and his family. He told me he wanted to wait until next year when im in highschool and the whole high school middle school thing seemed to be a problem for most people, but i still want to know if he was telling the truth or just using that as an excuse.
We talked for about an hour about everything and he told me he still wanted to be with me, he just couldnt, we even talked about going to a party together that Saturday because it would probly be the last weekend he was in town. I know this may not sound like something very reasonable but i just really want to know and would really appreciate the advice on how to possibly change his mind and make him want to try it out again.
He didn't say you two could not still be friends - and friends can easily spend the same amount of time together and be just as close without any of the additional stress. If he's not going to be around at all, the only thing that you'll have is a "title" - and using a guy to have a title is really not a nice thing to do!! If you like HIM, then it really shouldn't matter if you are "his girlfriend" or not. You two know how you feel about each other and that's all that matters.
If it's easier on you both to wait for the formal title when you actually can date and do things that go along with being boyfriend/girlfriend, what's the rush to do it now? Relationships last for years and years. The best relationships last for decades. If you guys were meant to be, then waiting to start it well can be CRITICAL. If you race into it now, and it's extremely stressful, you can both end up hating each other and destroying ALL chances you ever had of ending up together. But if you take it nice and slow, and only start being boyfriend/girlfriend when the timing is right for it, then it can keep growing and strengthening and you could end up forever.
There's never a need to rush. There is EVERY reason in the world to take things slow, because that ensures that in the end things work out as well as possible. If you really care about him, you should take things slow and make 100% sure that when you two DO start to date that it is in a situation that is perfect FOR dating. That way you don't risk destroying your chances with him because of "stupid situations" that you couldn't avoid.
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com