She's Always With Another Guy

Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Male
My girlfriend is friends with this guy that she has feelings for. She says that they are nothing more than friends but he is at her house quite frequently. One of her best friends tells me that she is just using me to make him jealous. I don't want my heart broken again. Help me make the right decision. Advice
This is always a hard situation to work on. You want the relationship to be a good one but you don't want to be the controlling, jealous insane partner.

Two people have to be in a relationship because both honestly want to be with and support each other. She doesn't sound like she's being very supportive. I'm all for females having male friends, but it sounds like she's crossing the line here.

Take her out for a romantic dinner and show her just how much you treasure her. Then find a way to spend time on the phone together with her during your free time - so that she doesn't have an excuse to see this other guy. If she deliberately turns you down in order to see him, then sit down with her to talk about this. Don't accuse her of anything - but tell her that in a loving relationship, the two people enjoy spending time with each other. Invite her to have this guy over YOUR house with her, but that it's not appropriate for her to be encouraging him on her own. It is very strongly unfair for her to 'lead him on' when she knows she is already with you.

-- from Lisa
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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