She's Lying about Us

Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Male
Hi, I think I have a problem with my girlfriend seeing her ex-boyfriend. She doesn't see him behind my back though, she tells me she is going out with him before she goes out with him. She claims to have no feelings for him beyond that of a good friend. He on the other hand is trying to get her back.

Actually we (her ex and I) were introduced once. My girlfriend and I were not a couple yet at that time, but he knew I was courting her at that time. Maybe the uneasyness I'm feeling does not come from the fact that he asks her out every now and then, maybe its because of the fact that she hasn't told him about us(we've been going steady for a couple of months). I tried talking to her about it, she says that she is having trouble breaking it to him, that she doesn't know how to do it or do it gently. I didn't want to press the issue so I let it go at that.

What can I do? Thanks... Advice
I was all ready to support your girlfriend in her having a male friend up until you said she was lying about the relationship she is in to this guy. What???

If this guy really IS a friend than the last thing she should be doing is constantly lying to him about something important about her life. She is protecting HIM? She's protecting HERSELF because she doesn't want to risk the flirtation she is getting by revealing that she is really "taken".

If she really is just friends with him, she wouldn't be lying to protect this illusion that she is single and available. She needs to learn to be HONEST with him and with herself. If she can't even be honest about something this basic, then that's not much of a friendship she has.

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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