Did Sex Ruin Our Relationship?
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
MY BEST FRIEND AND I WERE EVER SO CLOSE,WE USED TO SLEEP TOGETHER AND NOTHING WOULD HAPPEN BUT ONE NIGHT ALCOHOL TOOK CONTOL AND WE ENDED UP HAVING SEX. ITS HAPPEND A FEW OTHER TIMES AFTER THIS.
RECENTLY A FRIEND OF HIS TOLD HIM THAT HE KNEW WE WERE SLEEPING TOGETHER AND THAT I WAS FALLING IN LOVE WITH HIM, IM NOT SURE IF I DO OR NOT. ALSO RECENTLY HE LEARNED HE HAS CANCER, SINCE STARTING HIS TREATMENT AND BEING TOLD THAT I LOVE HIM HE DOSENT WANT ANYTHING MUCH TO DO WITH ME ANYMORE.
I MISS HIM SO MUCH AND WANT EVERYTHING TO GO BACK TO NORMAL BEFORE THE SEX, WILL WE EVER BE CLOSE AGAIN
I don't think the sex affected your relationship. You were already great friends and had done it a few times. Cancer is something that can end your entire life. Someone with cancer often pulls away from loved ones so they won't miss him when he's gone. I really think it's the cancer that is causing him to pull back here, not the sex.
You can NEVER "go back" in a relationship. People don't un-age! Would you want to date him when he was 2 years old? You need to move forward, mature, and grow together. He is going through a life changing and indeed life threatening experience here. He is having to grow up in a hurry. Show him that you ARE a great friend, that you are there for the long haul and will stick by his side. He is in a lot of pain and fear right now. Show him that you will not be pushed away, that you are there for him when it really matters.
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com