She Keeps Lying

Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Male
me and my now to be girlfriend had previously been seeing each other since last November and through the months we've grown closer and learned to love each other. but their was always one particular male friend of her that even in the begining i was a little concern about for the mere fact of i knew there was something there a little more than she was telling me.

so it got to the point to where just for my own security i ask if she they ever been a couple, and she went on and said no and she stated "no we've never been like that we're just friends, we've never had sex or anything of that nature." And mind you if she had i know i still couldn't get mad because that was before me, so i would think she had no reason to lie.

So has the month continued to build i still had this feeling that she was lying because i would always see him stop past her house when nobody was home and be in the house or he's calling 1 and 2 in the morning, and i just knew she wasn't honest with me and that's all i asked for cause i felt that i was to her.

So eventually i found out she was lying and she told me that o.k something did go down with them but not fully cause she told him to stop. I was upset and almost didn't talk to her no more but i already love her to much to do so.

This was just like a month in a half ago when i found this out, so just recently i found out that she still lie when she said it wasn't more. So do you think even though i love her; if i feel like i can't trust her that i should continue to have something with her, cause first time shame on her but second time shame on me. I know, but just would like a second opinion. Advice
I've in fact told that shame on me line to several other people writing in who were in the exact same situation you are in! You are completely right. A relationship is based on honesty and trust. If you can't trust someone, that they are looking out for your best interests, what do you have left?

If you have to worry every time she's out of her sight that she's off cheating on you, that's not healthy. If you ask her simple questions and she lies to you, how can you ever trust her when you ask her anything at all?

It's not just your emotions and respect she was abusing. What if she got some sort of a sexual disease from her activities with him, then gave it to you and you were seriously harmed by it? Any partner should always be fully honest about sexual situations for that reason if not for any other. She valued her own pleasure more than her care for your wellbeing or health.

There are tons of girls out there who would love you and ONLY you and who would be thrilled at your desire for honor. She doesn't deserve you.

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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