We Don't Communicate Well
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
I want to ask how much does a man should try in a relationship, and how does it should be. I mean is it right that woman is like shadow that if u go too much to her she`ll ignore him and if u try to be apart a little she`ll come to u, is it right? And should it be like friendship with a male or it is different. I mean should it be like slave and mistress things or just as simple as a friendship of two men.
And what should I do if I try many times for a girl and I didnt recieve any attention, should I try again, cause I feel a bit down with myself that I try for someone many times and I dont see the reaction that I expect.
well, I should say that I had a little conflict with my friend and after one week that we didnt speak to each other (we are in college, 17 years), to be honest I feel that I had the right , cause she had disrespected me in public among others, and I had torn the copies that she gave me in one subject,( infront of her) not in public.
first I thought that I can give her up, but after one week, cause I am new in this college and she is my only friend , I couldnt stand and I asked for a chat and in chat I tried to solve the problem even by apologizing and making the fault on myself to bring back the relation.
now it is round one week after the chat and I am trying my best, does a overtry lead to reverse result from her? and I dont know what should I do if I want to quit her, cause If I dont enjoy the relation , because I asked her for friendship again, she has the authority and maybe doesnt care for what I like and does what she likes only, cause she knows I dont have anybody else at college and I have to stand however she is.
last 3 nights I called her every night to see how she is and to show my care, and today I gave her a cardpostal with a quote in. I dont know what to do and I cant find anyone who can consult me.please give me a suggestion.
A friendship is a friendship whether it's between men and men, women and women, or men and women. It should always involve care, trust, honesty and shared interests.
If you had an issue with how she treated you, it was your responsibility to sit down and talk to her about it - not to throw a tantrum about it. Then it sounds like, to restore your friendship, you had a chat room talk?
You should never be friends with someone because you feel "you have to" or "I have no other choice". Regardless of ANYTHING else, it is unhealthy to have just one friend. Join some clubs, get out to local events, start talking to other people. Once you have more friends in your world, you can determine if you like this girl enough to really work on the relationship - or if you are just using her as a "companion of convenience".
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com