Island Boy, City Girl
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
How do I go back to being best friends? My best friend (this girl whom I've known for 5 years, started dating 2 months ago, things dont seem to be working out, she's an Aries, and I'm a cancer. Most of the time, I feel like I have to compromise myself to suit her.I'm from an island, and my lifestyle is simpler.She's from a big city and goes to theatres,reads literature and listens to music that I dont like. I'm into Eddy Murphy comedies and RnB. It wasnt like this when we were best friends. I wish to end this before i end up being a horrible boyfriend and lose her friendship. the question is, how? Can anyone help me?
It sounds like she was great having you as a friend, but that she has these bizarre misconceptions about what a "boyfriend" should be like. Really, a boyfriend should be a friend you can talk to! If she enjoyed you as a friend, then your other traits were ones she was OK with. You should NEVER try to change a partner, so for her to say "I liked you as a friend. But as a boyfriend you have to change X and Y and Z" is not quite right.
It definitely sounds like taking a step back might help her regain focus on this. You don't need to make a serious proclamation about it, but when she starts riding you about things you need to change, sit down and talk to her about it. Explain that you are who you are, she is who she is, and the two of you need to accept each other for what you are. That's the whole "for better or for worse" that you hear about. And say if it's hard for her to accept you right now, maybe you should spend more time getting to know each other (i.e. slow down) until it sinks in.
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com