Building a Friendship
Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Female
Okay, back when I was sixteen I fell in love with a friend of my brother's (I'm 20 now). He's quite a bit older than me and I freaked out because I had no experience and a knew it might get akward with him being my brother's friend. I think I really hurt him seeing as my friends had told him how much I liked him and I was suddenly backing away.
So now I'm older, more mature and not so scared and I still think about him all the time. When we're together there is definitely still a lot of chemistry but we don't see each other often because I think he tries to avoid me. What should I do, should I call him?
Lots of things happen in peoples' past and if he's still holding it against you how you acted when you were 16, that'd be pretty strange. Probably he's uncomfortable around you because he feels the attraction and he knows you're the younger sister of his good friend, and therefore to be treated with respect. He doesn't want to take advantage of you.
So build up a great FRIENDSHIP and show him that you guys can really get along well, be happy together and that it's not just a sex-thing. Show him that you two can really care about each other as people. And then take the romance into it slowly. That way he won't feel like he's "abusing his trust" that was given him by your older brother.
I have tips on that here -
but I really think he'll welcome a friendship with you - and that as you move it along slowly, he'll appreciate that too.
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com