We're Perfect For Each Other - We're Taking a Break
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
My guy and I have been together for about a year. We are perfect for each other, a mutual agreement but there are external factors that have intruded on our relationship. We are 3 hrs. apart geographically, he wants to concentrate on business and accomplish things before he has a family, i have moved back home to help take care of family- and now we are on a break. I understand that this is necessary so that unrealistic expectations will not arise. There is so much to do right now for the both of us. I want to support him with this time sensitive buisness situation and be a loving person for him and for me, I am just afraid that in our separation, things change.
How do I deal? Is it destiny, if it's meant to be, then it will be, and time will only tell? How do I not become jealous when he meets other girls, who he may not have feelings for but have feelings for him? Or what if feelings build over time since he technicallly does not have a girlfriend? I am lost right now and am trying to keep busy and stay positive, but sometimes, I just get down.
OK there are two main things I see here. First, NO relationship is ever perfect. There are always flaws to deal with, problems to address. It might be that you guys only see each other occasionally when dating and buit a 'shipboard romance' situation where your time together was about having fun and not about dealing with life. It might be that you never really got into a serious relationship. Or it could be you just weren't honest in your message ;) In anycase it's important to not build fantasies about your relationship - to be very honest so that you can help it sustain and grow over the years.
With that said, strong relationships don't just vanish when they hit a hurdle! The whole point of building that best friendship is that small things like distance do NOT cause you to break up! How about all the military families that have long distance relationships? Long distance relationships are very normal, and are simply what you do when you can't live together at the moment.
So why did you break up just because you had to be apart for a while? Especially if you intend to be together in the future? Why aren't you dating long distance? I have advice on it here -
Tell him that's what you want to do!
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com