Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Female
I've been going out with my boyfriend for two months now. im 15 and he is 16. We talk a lot, and can usually tell eachother anything. We've also talked about having sex. We are both virgins, and he says that he would have sex if given the chance. I've told him of my concerns, with getting pregnant and i dont want anything to change between us. He was really understanding and he has no problem if we dont do it.
I feel like im ready though. We haven't done anything besides kiss before and i like that we are going slow, but i feel like this is something i want to do now. He has never asked me if i wanted to though...so he probably thinks i dont. Im going to talk to him about it, but i dont wanna be that blunt in telling him. Im not sure of his reaction...and he is kind of shy and i dont want to scare him with it. What should i say? And how do i know when we should have sex? If he is at my house...how do i start without telling him. I want it be be romantic, so if you have any pointers i would be very thankful!
You should NEVER just leap into having sex!! There are probably 8 thousand intermediate steps between kissing and full blown sex. The whole beauty of a relationship is exploring and learning about EACH step, not just leaping from one to the other. That's sort of like getting a rich, delicious, multi-layered multi-hued chocolate cake and then mashing the entire thing into your mouth in one gulp and saying "OK, done." What's the point?
Do NOT just go diving into this like it's a task to finish. Intimacy is about learning about EACH part of your body, slowly, tenderly, and worshipping each part. Why not just start with massaging each other, and seeing how good that feels? Believe me you could do something new each day for a YEAR and each part would be better than the next, and you would really appreciate intercourse when you got to it. But if you just "leapfrog" over everything else, you are going to miss SO much. And you can never get it back, you can never regain your first experiences.
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com
Visitor Submitted Responses
Our RomanceClass visitors have chimed in with thoughts on this question and answer. Click on a link below to read what their solutions are!