He's Not Ready for Dating

Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old Female
I like this guy and i know he likes me too. When I first met him he told me that he is divorced and has 3 kids and that he fears marrying again because of his kids. He has just broken with his girlfriend saying that sometimes he has a feeling that the girls he meet are young and don't even have kids and why should they be with someone like him who already have kids and is responsible to them.

Anyway, i like him so I gave him a call just to chat, he was friendly to me but the problem is he will make plans to go out then won't take anything further, He won't even call me to inform me why we cannot go. If I stay away from him for sometimes, he is very happy to hear from me and will call me back. But if I call him often, then he will be busy .

I know he is busy he has his own business and was away to be with his kids for two months (they live with their mother) and just came back.

I am really confused, I'm sure he likes me and talks nice about me through friends, but keeps his distance. I really like him but don't want to bother him much. What should I do. Please help!!!!

RomanceClass.com Advice
Every one of us is a human being with hopes and fears, with responsibilities and dreams. This guy already has 3 kids and just had a relationship fail. So he's feeling unsure about what he wants out of life, about the job he has to raise his 3 kids well, and about the dangers of dating someone else and getting hurt again. It's easy to say "but I like him!" or "but I know he likes me!" but both of those are only one small part of the situation. He has a lot of different things he is trying to manage all at once.

He definitely sounds like he likes you but also that he has a lot of things going on in his life. It really sounds like what he needs right now is a FRIEND, someone to talk to, to support him, to listen to him and share in his fun times. Work on really being that friend - not in someone who wants to pressure him into anything, but someone who is around when he needs to talk. The more he realizes that you are a good person to be with, and not a stressful part of life, the more comfortable he will be in spending more and more time with you. And over time naturally things will develop as you get closer. But let it go at a slow pace. There's no rush, and the slow pace is what will make things last.

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com

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