My Boyfriend is Insanely Jealous
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
My boyfriend goes to a different school. and recently has continuous thoughts that i cheat on him or that i'm lying. i would love to continue this relationship but he is making it really hard. i love him with all of my heart and i all i want to do is be with him. What should I do??
Wow, you are in an incredibly tough position. This is exactly why I say honesty and trust is so incredibly important in a relationship. You can never "prove" to him that you're faithful!! It's his own insecurities that cause him to keep questioning you. And his lack of trust is going to keep eating away and away at the relationship until it totally destroys it, even though you were there and loving him the entire time.
It's time to sit down and have a serious talk with him -
Explain that you ARE true, faithful, loving and honest. And that it is time for him to be mature enough to accept it. A relationship is about trust. Even if you guys were together and married, would he put a video camera into your office or house to keep track of what you were doing while he wasn't there? Either he learns to trust you or the relationship can't work. That's one of those real life lessons he has to learn.
Offer to go to a therapist with him if he really can't address this on his own. But tell him that you CANNOT keep proving to him that you are trustworthy because it is simply impossible to do so. He has to ACCEPT that and he, inside his own brain, is the only person who can do that. So either he does that on his own, he gets help from a therapist, or SOMETHING. Because if he cannot, he is dooming the relationship to failure.
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com