She's Shy

Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Male
i really like this girl that goes to my school and she knows now that i really like her cuz i took her aside and told her about how i felt and stuff. I also had no idea if she is even intrested in going out with me and she say'd sure i guess but she doesn't show it. I asked her for her number and if i could call her sometime and she just sayd "uhh sure' and so ive been calling her for a little while now to try to get to know her better and we kinda did i mean the first phone call we started throwin out questions about stuff. and I keep getting mixed signals if she would be intrested in going out. I mean all the mixed signals are that when i talk to her on the phone we talk for a while i mean she never really wants to go quickly and we joke around.

But then when i try to talk to her at school she doesn't say much and it seems like she doesn't want to talk. Its been killing me to think i don't have a chance with her. But i have asked her to go see a movie on the weekend and when i asked her on the phone she say'd "uhh sure, but i don't know what im doing yet" and i said ok just let me know and she sayd ok. But she didn't really so i asked her if she was up for it and she say'd that she doesn't think she can cuz she had to go to her aunts house.

But i can't take all these mixed signals anymore. First it seems that she doesn't reall want to do anything with me or is not interested and then on the phone she seems like she does.

I don't know what to dooo pleaseeee helpppppp. Thanx Advice
It's good that you're talking on the phone but then you try to leap into a date and she's getting scared. You need to take things more slowly.

I have advice on asking someone out here -

build up that friendship first. Keep talking on the phone and chat with her in person, even though she's nervous, to help her feel less nervous. And then ask her to do something as a FRIEND only. Not something like a movie maybe - that seems scary to her like a "real date". Instead, just go for a walk somewhere, or meet before school to show her a cool CD you got or whatever. You have to work on that real time face to face contact before you start trying to get her to go out places with you.

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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