She's got Lots of Male Friends

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
I have been going out with my girlfriend for two & a half years now. My main problem was the fact that she is selfish. When we started going out she said that I should know that she has male friends, I acknowledged that, but what bothers me is the fact that these guys call her at night all the time and lately she has been getting calls from her friends' boyfriends.

I spoke to her about it and she said she's not the one asking them to call her. (Yet my problem is she is encouraging it). I know for a fact that great relationships are the ones that from friendships and that makes me feel that she is going to end-up with one of them or she is/ has cheated on me with one of them. It's a feeling I get and I'm unable to prove it.

I alaways thought I was paranoid but sometimes you can only go with your gut feeling!

What do I do? Advice
On one hand it is VERY normal for girls to have guy friends and visa-versa. It's normal and healthy and you can't drive all her guy friends away. But on the other hand, if she's enjoying having a bevy of guys flirting with her all the time, then you're right, she could easily become TOO friendly with one of them and decide he makes a better partner than you, and run off. While she has other guy friends, you are always to be her BEST friend and the one she spends the most time with.

She probably feels really flattered that these guys all like her, but one of the things you do when you are dating someone is you resist the other temptations. You know they're out there but you keep them at arms length. It sounds like she has her arms wide open.

It's not like she can refuse their calls. But if she DOES get a call, she should keep it short and instead call you. Especially if these are coming from boyfriends of her FRIENDS it is now unfaithful to them AND you if she is making these callers feel welcome.

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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Let Her Have Friends

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