My Sister is Looking Out for Me
Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Female
Last Thursday me and this guy two years older than me started flirting and told eachother we liked eachother. However, we were in a major dilemma cos he knew my sister (in his year) wud b very cross with him if anything if happened.
Anyway, on saturday night me and him got together, it was soooo nice!!! But when my sis found out, she went mad, cos she was being protective, as he can b a bit of a player. So we didnt speak for a while cos of that, but now he keeps saying we need to talk, but because we are always with our friends, we neva have enough courage to go up to the other.
I have asked him if he just wants to leave it, but he avoids the question!!Surely thats a good sign? cos i have given him plenty of opportunity to say he wants it all to finish. I like him so much, and i dont want to keep piling on the pressure, but i dont see how we are gonna get anywhere!!
I also cant tell how he feels?! He is the kind of guy, who if he really didnt want anything else to happen, would of just ignored me, but he hasnt!! i think he may just be really confused about what to do, because of my sister and stuff?
What shall i do, and how do u reckon he feels?? Thankyou!
I know it may be hard to see it right now, but you should be VERY thankful that you have a sister that looks out for you and cares for you. Many people don't have anybody at all trying to help them be OK. So for your sister to care enough to try to keep you happy (as far as she can tell) is a very, very special thing.
It definitely sounds like he likes you, and he is also rightfully cautious of upsetting your family. So for this to work, you have to SHOW (not just tell) your family (including your sister) that he really cares for you, and you care for him. They want you to be happy. They want you to have a good boyfriend that will respect you! So if this guy shows them he IS that guy, your family will support him.
So instead of sneaking off with him and proving he CANNOT be trusted, start doing things to show he CAN be trusted. Have him come by the house in the afternoon to sit and watch a movie with you. Do your homework with him if you share classes. The more you do things together, where you can be seen together and that he's not just 'after you' but really cares about you, the more accepting your family will be. The more they get to know him, they'll see that he does like you and isn't just using you.
It'll take time, but the only way you can have a happy relationship with him is to help show your family that he's not a player and is worthy of your time.
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com