Cheating on Them Both

Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Female
Alright, this situation involves me and two boys. Lets call one J and the other P. I've known both these boys for two years and I've been really good friends with them.

Last year I wanted to date J but I got talked out of it by my then girlfriend and lost my chance. I started going after P toward the end of the year last year and again got talked out of it by the same girl. This year I had started talking to P again and said a few words here and there to J. P and I had started cheating with each other a while back and finally got together 3 months ago, which is my longest relationship.

A month or so ago I joined a group that J was in and I started talking to him again, nothing too serious.

Now I'm talking to J a lot more and have cheated on P a few times with him. Lately, with P, i've gotten a lot more annoyed in the relationship and I'm starting to want to be with J so much more but the fact that P is mentally unstable slightly and gets depressed plus my social standing is holding me back.

I'm not sure what to do because I love both and I don't want to hurt either. They both treat me well and make me happy and P is starting to see how much we've been fighting and such and our relationship is faltering slightly and I'm so beyond lost. Advice
You say you love both men, but you are cheating on both of them and neither gets your full attention, affection, or love. Both men deserve someone in their life who is completely and totally dedicated to them. Neither man deserves a cheater.

You need to sit down, make a list, and decide who you want to be with the most. This has to be the person who makes you the happiest. If you do something "because he's mentally unstable" then you'll just feel resentment and not give the relationship your all. You need to be with someone who you can fully commit to.

Then do it. Commit your heart and soul, all your attention, all your affection. The man you pledge yourself deserves that from you. You after all are wanting the same thing from him.

Decide soon! And good luck!

-- from Lisa
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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