facing him of how jealous I am or hiding it?
Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Female
I met my curent boyfriend 4 years ago,we were young back then and he was more like a childhood crush,he had feelings for me and so had i,last year we were in a relation but he dumped me bcz he still had feelings for his ex,6 months later he appologised for what he have done and after a non stop conversation we realised that we still have feelings for each other,and now after 6 months together I'm sure that he's the one that I want to spend my life with the problem that I'm so jealous,this wasn't a problem last year beacause we were both in school,but this year its his first year at university which is really far so I won't be able to see him like I used to,the idea of him being so far away is killing me,I'm confused,I gave him a second chance beacause I feel that he's worth it and I do trust him but I don't trust the people arround him,he's so affected by his friends who are gonna be in the same dorm,and I'm just afraid that they'll encourage him to go out with them while they're with girls or to go to some events and these stuff,how am I suposed to act toward this?am I suposed to act like I'm not upset and that I'm okay with what might happen to avoid problems?or am I supose to face him that I'm jealous and what might happen may bother me a lot? Help please I don't want to lose him..
I think things get really tough on any relationship when someone goes away to college and the other is still at home. Usually, these kinds of relationships don't work out, since college can be a very all-consuming little universe. I am not saying it never works out! I just want you to consider that oftentimes the gulf ends up being too hard to bridge.
That said, do what you can to stay close to him. You won't be doing yourself any favors if you show jealousy when you are with him. It's not an attractive trait, and that is not how you want your boyfriend to remember about you when you aren't around. You want him to think of you in a happy, content way - not in a high-maintenance stressed way.
When you talk on the phone or see him, try to be upbeat and supportive. Don't act fake, but do not let him know you have a thousand fears about him, either. That's for venting/sharing with your friends and family. :-)
Remember that he seems quite honest - he told you quite freely when he was not over his ex, instead of simply seeing her behind your back. I would trust that he would again tell you honestly where he is at, if his feelings for you wane over time.
Hopefully you can be one of the couples that make it through this time intact. Be strong, maintain your own life and sense of self, and think positively.
-- from Jill
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com