Is my coworker interested or just friendly?
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
First I am currently married and caught my wife cheating in January. I would like to state that I am not only going to leave my wife if I have someone else lined up. She told me so many lies and continued even when I had evidence I just don't see the same person anymore. I have stayed just because I thought my feelings may change and they didn't, over the past six months I have gotten over her. I am not mad just done, I just feel this new person helped me realize that I can't stay and do nothing just because its easier. I just donít love my wife and cannot trust her now, I am going to leave her.
Now I have been working with a new female employee at my work once a week for about two or three months. She has been aware that I am married since she started. She is very outgoing with everyone at our work because she is a very sweet and genuine person. She seems to prefer working with me and calls me buttercup and smiles when I come in no matter who else is around (but she smiles a lot anyways). We work overlapping shifts so she gets out before I do and she has been wanting me to walk out with her when she leaves. We joke a lot and have fun when we work together and she touches me on occasion while we are joking.
I have been trying to drop hints that I have feelings for her, she asked once if I had any friends that she may like and I told her that I didnít know anyone good enough for her, she smiled and thanked me without quickness or awkwardness. I usually say something about how she is awesome or the best employee where we work (she has also said similar things to me). I feel I drop a lot of obvious hints and she has not shot me down or acted awkward or told others about what I say.
She recently told me that she has been dating a guy she had worked with at a previous job for the last two or three months. She said that she liked him but that he was not showing much interest (only talking about once a week, etc.) and that she wondered what I thought he was doing and what she should do. I obviously took the opportunity to take him out of the picture (tactfully), I told her what I felt and without much discussion she told me that she fully agreed and that she would stop seeing him. I took this opportunity to tell her about my marriage problems. She told me at first that I should try to work things out, but after hearing how I felt and why, she agreed that I should just leave. I then in the moment told her that the happiest I have been is when we work together(again no awkwardness and she thanked me). After some more discussion she told me that if needed I could stay at her house if I ever needed to. After I walked her to her car, she waited until I walked away and put a note on my car telling me to cheer up and that she would see me in a week.
Now I think she is interested but I am a dumb guy and wonder if she is just a very nice person who thinks my comments are sweet or just lets them go over her head. Is she sending me signals? We have a lot in common and I feel very connected to her and I cannot pass up an opportunity with her if I have the chance. I'm not expecting a psychic answer just some insight to help guide me.
I think you probably have a shot at a very nice relationship with this sweet girl. She seems to be displaying all the signs of someone romantically interested in you. Since you are still married, I'd take things very slowly. Make sure you maintain forward movement on disengaging yourself from your wife.
Be honest with both women as things move along. You don't want to rush into things with someone who might be very suitable for you while still entangled with someone else.
I do have a good feeling about this. :-)
-- from Jill
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com