What is going on?!
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
So, there's this woman, we have been friends for a while now. Not close, but we would see each other from time to time and have nice conversations. Anyway, things started changing about a year ago, I don't know if for better or worse. its like this-she offered me to help her out at her work as a volunteer, I accepted. At the beginning she acted sort of cold with me, and said things like you're not doing a good job, you don't have to do this after all. So, I decided to take a break and left for a while, when I came back, I gave it my all on the volunteering job and we were cool, then she started giving me compliments, with the smiling, and staring and her always being next to me. Then one day I decided to bring my best friend to help as well (she is also a female, and well, very attractive). We worked together and did a good job, but my other friend would always find stupid reasons to separate us, she didn't like it one bit. Now the volunteering is over, and I will be seeing her again in September (IF i decide to help again). Thing is, she's been so nice to me, even asked me out for lunch in a couple of days-she doesn't normally do that. Is she using me and being nice so that I can go back and volunteer again? Should I stay away?
It's hard to tell based on the information you've provided. I do have a bad feeling about her. She seems to be a little shady. Since this is a volunteering situation, you certainly don't have to meet her for lunch, or anything, or even go back to the work.
If you really like the work, you can go back while maintaining a civil distance from her.
Or, you can lay it out on the table and ask her what is going on. Ask her why (in a non-mean way) she has been hot and cold with you. Ask if there is anything you can do to clear the air between you.
If she replies in an honest way, then maybe you can both work together better. If she denies that anything is wrong, then she really might not be the kind of person you want to know socially. At the very least, you will have had the courage to ask. :-)
-- from Jill
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com