He Gets Too Close
Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Female
My boyfriend & I have been dating almost 5 months. Things started out really good and we were communication.We have sleepovers on the weekends & we talk about marriage. But just recently I feel like I'm the only one opening up & putting my guard down, even though he says he is too. It just seems like every time we have a breakthrough he takes 2 steps back & doesn't talk. We've both been really hurt before & I can understand he is scared it may happen again, but I told him I'm not going anywhere. I even made a really amazing slide show with pictures & captions explaining how I feel about him to get him to open up more. I also feel like he does want me around and feels like he is pushing me away.It's like he never wants to hang with me. I talked to him about that, but he says He loves me and can't bare to lose me. How do I get him to open up more and get him to want to see me? How can I get him to talk to me more? Is he pushing me away because he's afraid to get to close?
Men can be very uncomfortable with their emotions - if you push them to open up before they are ready, chances are they will take a few steps back. You will find this is not a unique situation. I recommend you get a copy of Women are from Venus, Men are from Mars - the whole book explains this intricate dance of push and pull between men and women with emotional intimacy.
I'd give him his emotional space. I know that can be quite hard! If you give him enough space, he might even end up pursuing you a little.
-- from Jill
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com