I Like Her - My Friends Don't
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
I am a college student living on campus. I have a friend; we will call her S. S and i really like her friend C. I don't see C that often but when C is around, i don't quite know how to put it but everything just sort of feels calm and right. she is one those girls you just can't quite get your head around.
However within the college i live in i have friends L, O and J who are also friends with S and who are all trying to set me up with S.
This is where its really complicated for me because i don't know what i can do. I haven't told anyone that i like C yet. If i tell L, O and J i like C then clearly they will run to S because they all love gossiping and i'm not sure if S will get upset. i don't quite know what she feels since my friends tried setting me up with her, and to be totally honest it would be a bit awkward for me to ask S if she likes me.
But if i tell S i like C i'll find out from her how she feels unless she hides it. i think she will also disapprove of my feelings for C since O and J have made foul comments behind C's back in the past.
Your life is your own life and you need to make your own decisions about who to be with. It doesn't matter at all if O or J like or dislike someone. They are not you. It only matters if YOU like someone. You are the one who will be with them for years and years. For all you know O and J will be out of your life in six months and you'll never see them again. C could be the rock of your life who you love for decades.
Stop relying on O or J or any other middle person. Make an effort to spend time with C. C is the person you're interested in. Find ways to spend time with her. Find an opportunity to say you're going to a movie and to invite her along, just as a friend. Absolutely the only way to see if it will work is to spend more time with her. And that requires effort. Invest that effort.
It never works well to start using third party people for opinions or gossip.
-- from Lisa
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com