My Jealousy is Damaging Our Relationship

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
Over the past 2 months I have had a growing sense of jealousy about my girlfriend's past. I know its useless and brings no good and it's the reason she is who I'm in love with today. I hate feeling like this and I feel at an absolute low as last week I have read through her emails and facebook messages. I did it without even thinking and now regret it. She is the first person I have ever fallen in love with in my life.

So yesterday I have confessed to my girlfriend that I did so. I have sincerely apologized to her and promised her that I want to become a better man and learn how to control myself. Because its unfair to her and me.

Is there any advice on something I can show her a change with. I know actions speak louder than words so I have deleted all her passwords off my computer so I wouldn't be even tempted as well as block myself off her facebook. I want to show her that I can and will be a better man for her.

I had no idea this would be so hard but i guess it's my ultimate test.

Any advice on my further actions?

Please and thank you. Advice
Handling jealousy is absolutely critical for any relationship to succeed. You must be able to trust your partner, and demonstrate to them that they can trust you. No two people will be with each other 24 hours a day. You will always be apart from each other for periods of time. You have to be able to trust in each other to remain loyal.

A good question to ask yourself is if you really think she would betray you. If so, why? Has she ever shown in through word or action? If she is doing things that lead you to believe she's going to hurt you, then you need to sit down and talk about it. But if she is NOT doing anything like that - and you are treating her poorly anyway - then you need to work on that every day. She deserves a man who trusts in her and believes in her. Strive daily to be that man.

-- from Lisa
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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