He's Leading a Double Life
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
please help. my fiance gets calls on cellphone and he will not pick up, he gets very nervous when i tell him to pick up then he erases the number so I dont see who calls. Now he got a beeper. also always looks at other women in front of me. everytime i confront him he swears he has never cheated.
should i believe him???? confused
This is a serious issue that needs to be resolved NOW. Problems NEVER vanish when you get married, they only get worse and worse. A relationship is 100% about honesty and trust. If he is hiding things from you now, that is simply not right. It's not that you're being his mommy or checking up on him. It's that everything he does affects you and everything you do affects him. He should be sharing his life with you as a matter of normal day to day life! As you share yours with him.
I would sit down and have a long talk with him about complete honesty and truth and discuss how important it is if you're going to be starting a life together as a family, even a family of two. Make sure he understands and agrees. And then when he does, tell him to bring out the cell phone statements and beeper statements. If he balks, then insist on therapy and a resolution to this or you won't go forward. Believe me, people who make a serious habit of lying do not stop. They just keep lying and lying because it's what they do. And while right now he's just lying about beepers and cell phones, that very easily becomes lies about other things.
If he says you're being a Mommy, then he's just not mature enough for a relationship, never mind a marriage. HE should want to share his life with you, you shouldn't have to ask him why he's hiding half of it from you!
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com