Is this wrong.
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
I have to tell the story from the beginning for it to all make sense...
I (23yrs old, female) started working for this hairsalon 3yrs ago, and met a girl Kathy (28yrs old) who I became sort of friends with. When i say "sort of", i mean she was the kind of girl i just work with on good civilized terms, we get into bitchy argument fights often and I dont hang out with her outside of work because I dont trust her, but on the contrary she pretends to be a good friend and I cant hate her because the nice side of her makes up for the evil.
But anyways...She had this boyfriend Eric, who she dated for the 3 years we knew each other, and the first day i met him i was unbelievably attracted to him, he looked like the man i always dreamed about having. But it didn't matter because he was taken and I would never do something like that to a co-worker, friends or not. Every gathering my work had, Kathy would invite Eric and I would secretly get excited to see him. I kept my feeling to myself mainly because i couldn't even admit the truth out loud. I tried to be as humble as I could about my feelings and never let it show that I was interested. Eric and I always seemed to migrate towards each other at these work gatherings and I would purposely step away because I could "feel" Kathy watching me and getting jealous from across the room.
Three years later...my feelings havent changed. My fantasies about us together just keep overwhelming my thoughts to the point where I dream about Eric almost every night. Kathy and I still have a rocky relationship. She will be my best friend when we are alone but when other people at work are around she has nothing to do with me and tries to make me feel bad about myself. I secretly think shes jealous of me. I barely know Eric on a personal level, and she always tells me that I remind her of him because of the music i like, and the hobbies I have and my personal interest and style. Its kinda funny because she always "jokes/brags" about the fact that she is dating "my kind of a guy". And my friends told me (without knowing my feelings) that I need a guy like "eric". which actually shocked me because when they told me that is when i knew it wasn't just me that thought we'd look or just be good together.
Well its ironic that one day she suggested that herself,Eric,me and erics brother go skiing. And I didn't realize he had a little brother. (BIG SMILE) I was so excited because I hoped they would look alike and I could eventually have Eric through his little brother Rich. Rich and I went skiing and had tons of fun, I know deep down that he may not be "the one", but im gonna have fun anyway because he is really cute. So Rich and I are just friends.. but i think hes starting to like me. Few weeks later I get a call from Kathy, inviting me to go away to a festival with her and Eric and a few of Eric's friends (I go to this festival every year and told her about it, and she is not the kind of girl you would see at a festival or a concert for that matter, she was never interested in my stories) I thought it was strange but went with my gut feeling and said " i'll go" (secretly happy that Eric was goin) I cant even believe that all my fantasy's about Eric and i are coming true right before me eyes. to make a really long story short..... I cant stop thinking about this festival and I knew for some reason it was too good to be true but i kept having dreams about Eric and i. I got a call from Kathy couple weeks later saying her and Eric cant go to the festival because their financial situations. I was understanding and decided to bring another friend instead. Now me and Kathy arent going to the festival together so she doesnt talk to me at work anymore, typical Kathy move.
So i tend to have a lot of premonitions and dreams that actually come true quite often but I was thinking about how Kathy called me to cancel the vacation and was so focused on the fact that it was to good to be true, but 2 weeks later I had a dream that Eric broke up with Kathy, in my dream i was excited because i then knew we were going to be together. That morning when i woke up i was in the shower thinking about my dream and how cool that would have been for them to break up and he fall in love with me she accept it, but haha that'd never happen. So I finish my shower and get ready to go to work....i get to work and you wont even believe this... Kathy was in the work hallway crying because "she broke up with eric" !!! I was like holly crap, my dream came true except i thought she was lying, i think he broke up with her. Its been 21/2 months since the break up. Rich has been calling me more frequently and keeps asking me to cut his brothers hair for him. I said "no way" that'd be wrong, Kathy would get pissed!! He insists on asking me cuz his brother is telling him to. Rich, his brother and a few of their friends and I went to the bar last week and I couldnt keep my eyes off Eric, i kept having to remember to pay attention to Rich, but eric and i just clicked more then ever. He asked me severel times to cut his hair and i kept saying "NO, go to a barber" to his face this time. I really want to cut it...but... is it wrong to cut Erics hair, knowing my feelings? Couple days ago (1 week later since the last bar trip) eric just so happened to have plans with Rich already so when i called rich to hang out, we ALL hung out. Again..beggining me for a cut. So i gave in an followed my inner feelings and made plans to cut his hair next week.
Im freaking out because i feel guilty for making the plans with him, i dont know how to tell Rich that i like his brother and not him. I dont know if i should follow my heart and go for eric or consider others like kathy...and rich for that matter. Ive never felt this way about anyone, does is sound like hes trying to get me along so i can cut his in private? Any advice will help. thanks
Just remember that you still work with Kathy. No matter what you decided it's going to get back to her and she doesn't sound like the kind of girl that will take anything lightly. There just seems to be too many different personalities involved here for this to turn out well. You can't play brother against brother. If you're going after Eric then you need to let Rich know how you feel, but I will tell that this whole things has the makings of a disastrous situation and work will become nightmare for you. My advise is that you maintain a friendship with the brothers and find someone who has no ties to your work. You sound like a beautiful person so I know there's a special someone out there just waiting to make you happy. Good luck.
-- from Jill
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com