does he still love me?
Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Female
Ok. I have been dating my boyfriend for about a year now. We started going out during the summer and spent everday with each other. I was never able to frown when i was with him. Everything seemed good. I fell in love with him and he fell in love with me.
But, things started getting bad when he went to high school(he's in 9th grade and im in 8th grade- im 14). He's always too busy to be with me so we only get to see each other once a week. He's always too tired so he never wants to go out and doesn't want to put any effort into calling me.(i always call him)We got into a little argument before about calling each other. He always wants me to call him but i would like it if he returned the favor sometimes. but, he gets back to complaning saying that he gets too tired to call me and that he's so busy that he forgets. And i got mad.
He could never make it to any of my special events because he's busy with school stuff. And i always try my hardest to make it to any of his special event even it causes me to break some rules. He never has the time for me anymore and i feel like we're drifting apart. i dont feel important or special. It feels like he doesnt care for me anymore.
He has put some things before me in the past like video games.I had once went to his house, sat on his couch and watched him play games for 4 hours straight and i tried to get him to spend time with me,but he started to complain to me. I walked over to his house that day so i could see him and instead of spending time together, i just sat there. He had told me that he didnt get to play games oftn, but he didnt get to see me often either. The times that he did that to me showed me that he thought a game was more important than his girlfriend.
It feels like he doesnt care for me. People tell me that he's not acting like a real boyfriend. i tell him about my problems and it seems like he doesnt care. he doesnt comfort me. His response to my problem is " oh" or " Srry but i dont know what to do" I just want him to comfort me and tell me that its going to be okay. And when i asked him about his day he said it was annoying. he didnt want me to ask him that because everyday was goin to be the same. okay, or boring, or tiring. so i just stopped asking him. im always the one tryin to make up a conversation.
He never shows his love and affection for me. I try to hold his hands sometimes and he just lets go making a lame excuse like "i dont want my hands to get sweaty" and lets go. i hug him and i try to hold on longer because i really miss him after not seeing him for a whole week. but, he backs up and sort of pushes me away to as if he were saying " im done hugging" I have played with his phone before and asked him if it was ok that i put my picture up as his wallpaper. he said no because he didnt want his frends to make fun of him.It feels like he doesnt put effort into this relationship. He says he loves me, but does he really?
Please help me. I want to know if the summer we spent together was just a summer romance. Does he really love me? Why isn't he putting effort into the relationship and why is he acting this way? Is he being boyfriend? Are we drifting apart? Or is all of this something i shouldnt worry about?
No honey, he probably doesn't love you any longer. You sound like such a sweet caring young lady; I wonder why you would want to waste your time with someone who doesn't call at all about you. If I had to guess why he acts this way I would say that it's that one year difference in your grades. Usually when the boyfriend gets in high school and the girlfriend is still in junior high it causes a problem. He's feeling more mature being in "High" school and maybe he feels that he's outgrown you. Find someone in your grade and be happy.
-- from Jill
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com