??Can't Choose Between The Two??
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
I have two boyfriends. One i have known for years, the other i met in Septmeber. The one i known for years broke up with me about a year and half ago, after that i tried to get back with him. After time went by i got tired of trying and watching while he would always leave me for someone else countless times so i told him i was done with him and we could just become friends. So i started talking to different guys (which never worked)after months of trying that i gave up and just didn't feel the wanting of getting into a relationship. I felt it would be better for me to get myself together and take two years out for me. But,for some reason i can't stay single for a year. I met a new guy over myspace that was really sweet but also two years younger than me which wasn't what i usually did. So, not having the intentions to want to be with him and expected for me to only talk to him for about 2 weeks to one month i told some lies about my self and he eventually ended up falling in love with and so did i. After a month of getting to know him,i went on his webpage and saw pictures of him and some other female. So,i texted him and asked him what was the deal about and who it was and he said that it was his ex from some months ago and he haven't had time to take them down. So i asked him nicely and calmy to remove them,it took him so long to take them down i figured he was just another one of those guys thats not over his ex and wanted to keep her pictures up so i said forget this and my ex friend introduced me to a guy that olived right around the corner from me. So,i met him and everything went good,not a dating or boyfriend/girlfriend type thing just "a friend with benefits type". That happened three times until i stopped it. So,My boyfriend started acting strange,not calling me or texting very often like he used so i began talking to my other guys just a phone thing as friends. Over time my ex and i reconnect after 4months of no contact. We talk he has a girlfriend at this time and all so its just friends,some stuff from the past come back up and i end up telling him to get lost and lose my number. My boyfriend at this time is still treating me the same,still has the pictures up and i don't ever see him. My ex decides to contact me again after a bad breakup so we meet up and some things end up happening there as well,at this time i don't think nothing of it. I delete my boyfriend off my webpage and he wonders about it and ask why we end up getting into this huge argument because he kept trying to give excuses of why he doesn't call me or talk to me like a boyfriend should and has his ex's pictures still up like he just cannot let go. This whole time were arguing and fighting and me cheating i try to break up with him at least about 10-15 times but he won't take no or bye for an answer and of course i have feelings for him as well. But i say forget it,i'm tired of it. New years comes around he had already asked me to spend it with him. I'm at home getting all dressed up my best and my mom pops out of her room and asks where am i going,i say i'm going out with boyfriend she says no your not its not a good night and i tell her i already made plans and told you earlier i was. Neither of my parents liked my boyfriend because he left me stranded at his brother's house til 6am and they had to get me back home. So,my mother says no your not so she calls my ex and the pastor. I'm all dressed and ready at this time and what do you know he's baming on my door saying open the door right now! I say no i'm not go away! He's persistent and decides to procede to break down my door,my dad tells him to have a seat so he goes and sits in the living room. I come out and he asks me why are you going out with this guy if he treats you the way he does? (Yea,i told my ex about it,i know) He doesn't call you and check up on you or call to say i love you he just flat out ignores you and i have something to ask you at 12:00. I'm sitting on my bed thinking like what the crap is this? whats going on? and he asks me are you going i say yes i am. He goes on and on why i shouldn't and to tell you the truth he was right on alot of things of why shouldn't go and why he's not the one for me and he is. At this time i get swept up and start crying because the ex i once tried to get back wanted me back and so i gave in and told him yes. This whole time my boyfriend never once rang my phone to check and see what was going on,not even to say happy new year to me. I'm basically torn between the two because i love my ex and even though we broke up we were still there for one another and never stopped loving each other. My boyfriend he still is the same and yes i confessed to him about everything from the time we first met to my ex wanting me back he knows it all,but he doesn't know he's my boyfriend again and neither does my ex know he's still my boyfriend. My boyfriend says he loves me and really wants to be with me and wants to work things out but every now and then he will bring up about new years or even think i'm lying which i don't blame him,hey the guy is only human. I don't see him everyday and he works constantly or so he tells me,but gets mad when i have something to do or we can't see each other. I'm terrified of them bumping into each other but, i only want one and its seems obvious i should choose the one that loves and always has been there but then i again i want someone new and try someone different,he seems dedicated to me enough but i can't be so sure,i know i can be about my ex sort of either one can leave me. I just need help and someone elses point of view on what to do because i'm lost and confused here. If,possible i will go back to being single,i think that worked best for me alot! lol Thanx.)
You most definatly need to be single. At one point you indicated that you told a few lies about yourself to the guy on MySpace. Why would you lie about yourself? Take some time out and concentrate on you. You'll never find out who you really are if you have a flakey guy in your life because you're too busy trying to be someone else for him.
-- from Jill
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com