Long Distance Internet Relationship, How to deal with it
Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Male
Alright, well here's my question. This girl accidentally added me on msn almost a year ago. It was just so random, but i noticed her msn name stated she was from London, United Kingdom. Ive been in this sorta thing before but the last 2 times the girl was a fake and i caught on pretty quick. But this girl seems real? we have each others facebook and it seems legit.
Here's what im worried about, ive only ever talked to her once over skype and i could barely hear her. Ive tried calling her on her cell but it never goes through ive put the codes in properly for texting/calling. nothing.
Im having a real hard time trusting because what if shes a fake? I tend to get a little upset when shes not on msn for days at a time. I like this girl, im able to text her friend thats from london but she uses a dubai phone.
Anyways, im having a hard time dealing with this, wondering if shes a fake and if im wasting my time and if im going to get hurt. Im a nice guy, i dont usually do long distance but i have never ACTUALLY liked a girl this much before because we got to know each other on another level. The fact that im unable to call her, text her, and also wondering when im going to see her (her friend said she was buying her a ticket here to canada for christmas) but who knows!
What should i do? am i just being paranoid? or should i just let all this go? its not the waiting thats killing me, its the trust. i need more then just msn.
Sorry you are in this situation!
In my opinion, LDRs are nothing but a problem. It is too easy to fall in love with a "ghost" of a person. In other words, you are not interacting with a real physical person but just a voice or letters on a computer screen.
True, it is sometimes easier to share deep feelings when the person is not physically there. This makes you feel in love. But, is it worth it in the long run? There is a real value to sharing feelings and learning how to communicate, but how often does this come to a real in-person relationship? From what I've learned, it rarely happens.
You have already had bad on-line relationships and this one is heading that direction too. It is causing you pain and you deserve better than that.
My advice is to use what you have learned about communicating and find a local girl and get to know her. It is not good for you to go without the physical contact that having a real girl friend will bring you. There are thousands of girls who would love to be with you (as I told you before.) You need to learn to have a good relationship in person. It is too easy for these LDRs to stretch out past their time of usefulness.
Write this girl in London and tell her that while you care for her a lot, and would like to continue to be her friend, that you are going to look for a local girl.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com